Food Review: Strawberry Fruit Roll-Ups

Grade: 9.5 out of 10

I decided to bring back the good old days of elementary school and eat fruit roll-ups. Ten years later these things are still an awesome snack. They don't really taste that strawberry (in fact, the main ingredients are pears from concentrate). Don't worry though, I can't really see why anyone would not like the taste. It's a lot of sugar and chemicals. Also, make sure you don't eat the packaging. I know it's tempting, but DON'T DO IT.

Restaurant Review: Bella Vista

Located in the North End on Hanover Street, Bella Vista offers quite the dining experience. The dining room is cozy and dim. The staff is pretty nice, although the waiters are kind of rushy (but that is expected when you are dining with somebody who takes 30 minutes to eat). The food, at least the Chicken Parmigiana that I had, was amazing. I'd argue that it was the best C-P that I ever had. The bread was hot crunchy Italian bread. The coke was coke. The prices were quite reasonable -- in the $15-20 range for entrees -- and well worth it. I had a great time and I'd certainly go back again.

Grade: 9.0 out of 10

Food Review: Koska Turkish Delight

Name: Koska Turkish Delight
Type: Dessert?
Grade: 60 out of 100
Comment: A more appropriate title would be "Turkish Disappointment". I ate the red cube from the Mixed Fruits box. I think it was supposed to taste of cherry. Instead I could only detect a hint of sugar...like when you've poured it into your coffee, but it all goes to the bottom. Not horrible, but I wouldn't recommend it either.

Food Review: BC Warm Delights Peanut Butter Brownie

Name: Betty Crocker Warm Delights Peanut Butter Fudge Brownie
Type: Dessert
Grade: 94 out of 100

Comments: This treat is nearly identical to the Hot Fudge Brownie except that the batter is more "buttery" and there are nuts inside. If you love Reese's Peanut Butter cups, you will love this. I'm not a huge fan of nuts other than my own (haha, I love it) so I can't say this was as awesome as the Hot Fudge. Still, I'd counter, this is the second best brownie that I've ever tasted. Damn good. Try it.

Food Review: Betty Crocker Warm Delights Fudge Brownie

Name: Betty Crocker Warm Delights - Hot Fudge Brownie
Type: Dessert
Grade: 100 out of 100

Description: Being the dumb ass that I am, I couldn't understand the directions for all of three minutes. After I finally realized that one tablespoon PLUS one teaspoon equals one tablespoon and one teaspoon, I began. I also sucked at one more thing: the directions say to pour the mix into the bowl (the one provided), but I poured it into separate bowl. That said, I might have lost some valuable portion of the brownie right there. When all the mix was in the correct bowl, I put it in the microwave and set the timer to :45 (that is what the directions asked me to do). It clearly wasn't even close to brownie-like when the timer went off so I did as the directions suggested: time it for another :10 seconds. Still wasn't done after that. Another :10...still not done. One final :10 and voila it looked just like the average oven baked brownie. I poured the fudge topping on top of the finished product and let it cool for a few minutes. Once I started to indulge, I realized that this was the best f-ing brownie that I ever had in my life. By itself, the brownie was fudgey, but it got ten times more orgasmic with the fudge. It is safe to say that I will be enjoying this delectable treat for many days, months, and years to come.