Ketchup Is Awesome

White people love organic tomato ketchup.

I Smell Muffins!

Simple things make better muffins.

KGC - Kentucky Grilled Chicken

(YAHOO!) LOUISVILLE, Ky. – Would KGC ever have the same ring?

In a culinary gambit backed by buckets of big money, KFC is hoping to replicate its founder's recipe for success with the national introduction of Kentucky Grilled Chicken.

This week's rollout is KFC's most ambitious attempt to win over health-conscious customers as the chain known worldwide for fried chicken tries to reinvigorate lackluster U.S. sales.

"It's going to get people who haven't eaten KFC for a long time to come back into our restaurants," said KFC President Roger Eaton. "It's going to get people who have never eaten KFC to come into our restaurants."

Eaton says he spent years as part of the team tinkering with a grilled alternative, and the rollout follows KFC's longest market test ever. It will be backed by a marketing blitz.

You can't make yourself something you aren't.

An Auto Pizza Machine

ROVERETO, Italy — Is Europe bringing back the automat? Claudio Torghele hopes so.

Over the last decade, Mr. Torghele, 56, an entrepreneur in this northern Italian city who first made money selling pasta in California, has developed a vending machine that cooks pizza. The machine does not just slip a frozen pizza into a microwave. It actually whips up flour, water, tomato sauce and fresh ingredients to produce a piping hot pizza in about three minutes.

The machine, which Mr. Torghele calls Let’s Pizza, is only the spearhead of a trend. Restaurants reminiscent of the old Horn & Hardart chain in the United States, which are fully automatic, are also showing up around the Continent.

Unlike the old automats (the last Horn & Hardart closed in 1991), which were staffed with workers who refilled the machines with creamed spinach and baked beans as fast as customers pulled them out, these restaurants consist entirely of vending machines. - New York Times

This is great. Bring it to Wakefield High!

The Debate

Is there such a thing as "American food?"

I would say yes, but you have to be careful what you call "American food." It's a smart idea to research the origin of the foods in question.

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And yes today was an extremely slow day in terms of posting.

"Freedom of Choice" Doughnut

WINSTON-SALEM, N.C., Jan. 14 /PRNewswire-FirstCall/ -- Krispy Kreme Doughnuts, Inc. (NYSE: KKD) is honoring American's sense of pride and freedom of choice on Inauguration Day, by offering a free doughnut of choice to every customer on this historic day, Jan. 20. By doing so, participating Krispy Kreme stores nationwide are making an oath to tasty goodies -- just another reminder of how oh-so-sweet "free" can be.

"Krispy Kreme is taking the inaugural festivities nationwide," said Ron Rupocinski, executive chef for Krispy Kreme. "We're inviting our fans in cities across the country, including Washington, D.C., to commemorate this historic day with a favorite American treat."

The Inauguration Day promotional offer is good for one doughnut of choice per customer on Jan. 20. No purchase is necessary. To find a participating store near you, visit http://www.krispykreme.com/storelocator.html.

Damn. If only the stores in Medford and Saugus didn't fail.

Bird Flu

Nepal is confirming bird flu in poultry has been detected for the first time in the Himalayan nation. This follows outbreaks last month in Bangladesh and India.

Several Nepalese government ministries confirm the first outbreak of the deadly H5N1 virus in birds in the country. But they say they have no reports of the virus affecting humans.

The outbreak, which killed chickens and ducks, is at a farm in the southern town of Kakarvitta, bordering the Indian state of West Bengal. - VOA News

Bird flu sucks.

Whopped Sacrifice

Do you have too many 'friends' on Facebook? You know, the 'friends' that paid you no mind in high school but then, when they find you on Facebook, it's all good times and buddy-buddy. Maybe you thought you were living in the 1930's when you introduced yourself with your full name at that corporate event and woke up the next day to find friend requests filling your inbox.

Well get down on your knees and give thanks for the advertising geniuses working for Burger King these days. First they brought us the brilliantly hilarious BK perfume site, and now here comes a Facebook application that will help you trim the fat on your 'friends' list without hurting too many feelings in the process.

The new app is called Whopped Sacrifice and it rewards you with a coupon for BK's signature burger for every 10 'friends' you manage cut loose. Each time you delete a 'friend' from your massively cluttered list, the application sends a notification to the banished party via Facebook's news feed explaining that your desire for a Whopper is stronger than your love for the unlucky former 'friend.' The app also adds a box on a user's profile page charting their progress toward the free burger with the line, "Who will be the next to go?" - Salon.com

Sounds like a great idea.

Buy Local

"Buy local” seems to be a powerful message in Montana where we tend to have a strong sense of place and a good dose of common sense. But the local food movement is about more than what consumers buy, although that is an important part of the equation. We are literally trying to build a local food economy that can serve and even expand these new markets in terms of production, processing and distribution. Moving toward a system of greater self-reliance when it comes to food — an essential need — increases our security, as factors like climate change, food safety, and rising oil prices raise serious questions about the sustainability of the global food system we have come to depend on. To meet these goals, though, we need to protect working landscapes now. - savekauai.org

White people love to buy local.

Drink Review: IBC Root Beer

Comments: The best. That's all.
Grade: 10 out of 10

Atlantic Food Mart Closes

Atlantic Food Mart, a Reading 'landmark' according to the Boston Globe, closed down on Wednesday mainly because it faced fierce competition from two area corporate giants: Market Basket and Stop N' Shop. Only a few die-hard, loyal shoppers kept Atlantic from closing shop sooner. Oaktree Development recently purchased the property. The company will demolish Food Mart and erect a four story residential building in its place.

I think this whole scenario falls under the umbrella of "Shock Doctrine." Oaktree Development waited for a major disaster -- the opening of Market Basket and Stop N' Shop in Reading -- and then it capitalized on Food Mart's collapse. In particular, Market Basket's prices are just too low for any small-scale food market to compete. Loyal patrons will no longer be able to purchase their food at a place they came to love; instead they will "sell out" to the corporate behemoths by buying their products. Employees, like WHS's own Spencer Connell, are now on the unemployment line, forced to find new jobs (most likely at Market Basket or Stop N' Shop unless they switch careers). This kind of disaster capitalism isn't uncommon; supermarket giant Walmart is known for its forcing out of smaller businesses.

Stay tuned. I might just write about this in the next issue of the exPress.

Drink Review: Hood Golden Egg Nog

It doesn't get better than this. It really doesn't. You haven't experienced heaven in drink form unless you have tasted Hood Golden Egg Nog. I can't describe in words how delectable this yellow sensation is. It reminds me of a thicker version of a French Vanilla frappe, but that doesn't even do justice. It has a little touch of nutmeg or something like that -- it's all good regardless.

Grade: 10 out of 10

Kenya Gov't Bans Egg Imports

The Government has banned importation of eggs and related products from China.

This follows an earlier ban on milk and other related products from the country by the Kenya Bureau of Standards after the detection of traces of melamine.

Managing director Kioko Mang'eli said the ban also affects products from territories near China and takes effect immediately.

"The related eggs products will include noodles, mayonnaise, animal feeds and animal feed inputs." - allAfrica.com

Kenya knows what's up.

No More McDonald's Boycott

A corporate executive for McDonald's restaurants who had been on board of directors of the National Gay & Lesbian Chamber of Commerce has stepped down following a boycott of the chain organized by the pro-family American Family Association.

McDonald's officials confirmed today to WND that Richard Ellis, who had been named to the "gay" chamber board after McDonald's contributed $20,000 to the organization, "made a personal decision to step down … after he accepted a new position … with McDonald's Restaurants of Canada."

McDonald's officials also told AFA that the company has no plans to renew its membership in the special interest group when it expires in December. - World Net Daily

Even I didn't boycott Mickey D's over this.

Iran Purchases Wheat From U.S

Iran this summer resumed buying U.S. wheat after a 27-year hiatus, a sign of
the limited options for importers seeking large quantities of high-quality
grain.

So far, Iran has bought more than one-million tons of hard red winter wheat
directly from the U.S., which is "a very large amount," said Bill Nelson,
analyst for Wachovia Securities.

The purchases mean at least 3% to 4% of U.S. wheat exports for the 2008-09
marketing year, which began June 1, will go to a country the U.S. hasn't done
business with for more than a generation. U.S. sanctions against Iran don't
prohibit agricultural trade. - Wall Street Journal

Iran is too busy paying Hezbollah and Hamas to care about irrigation.

Eat 'Roo...Yeah, Okay.

Switching from beef to kangaroo burgers could significantly help to reduce greenhouse gas emissions, says an Australian scientist.

The methane gas produced by sheep and cows through belching and flatulence is more potent than carbon dioxide in the damage it can cause to the environment.

But kangaroos produce virtually no methane because their digestive systems are different.

Dr George Wilson, of the Australian Wildlife Services, urges farming them. - BBC News

I'm staying with regular beef burgers, why thank you.

14 Types of Annoying Tailgaters

Read about the first three right below and the next eleven here.

Exotic Meats Guy - Alligator Stew. Barbecued frog legs. Bison burgers. This is the guy that scoffs at normal hamburgers and hot dogs as traditional tailgate food. He loves to hand someone some sort of mystery meat on a stick and then see their reaction when he reveals the name of the wild animal they just ate. Tastes like chicken, right?

Acoustic Guitar Guy - This douche-bag is normally found tailgating before concerts but don’t count him out tailgating before a sporting event. You have all seen him. This guy breaks out the acoustic guitar whenever he thinks someone wants to hear his crappy rendition of “What Would You Say” by Dave Matthews Band. He does this not because he really loves music but because he thinks playing the guitar impresses women enough to sleep with him later. You can spot him strumming pathetically all by himself hoping some drunk girl will recognize him playing “Every Rose Has It’s Thorn“. Hey Acoustic Guitar Guy, please save it for the youth group camping trip.

The Gadget Geek - This guy could also be called the “One Upper”. You have a hand crank blender, this guy has a blender hooked up to a old Harley-Davidson engine. You have a 40,000 BTU grill, this guy has 100,000 BTUs at his disposal, and that’s just on the left side! He’s all about trying to impress everyone else with all his “toys” and loves the ones that make the most noise. That way everyone in the parking lot will turn to look when he fires up his generator powering his rented Musco Lights. - Tailgatingideas.com

Drink Review: Moxie

Name: Moxie
Grade: 5.8

Comments: Moxie, that little orange labeled drink that seemingly no one buys except for old people and those who've had their taste buds shot off in war, is a drink that I've been meaning to try for some time now. I was a little hesitant at first so I made Joe, another taste tester, try it out first. He describes it as almost tasting like medicine. He further says that it tastes like a combination of really bad root beer and feet. Furthermore, I would even add that it tastes like imitation/diet root beer. It has a very bitter taste which is unnoticeable when it first reaches the tongue, but becomes increasingly present as it swims through your mouth. I could even sense a little diet coke, but that is primarily because of the phosphoric acid ingredient. Overall, I wouldn't recommend it to anyone unless Fresca was the only other option available.

Yo, We Eating More, Yo!

In 1970, the average American ate about 16.4 pounds of food a week, or 2.3 pounds daily. By 2006, the average intake grew by an additional 1.8 pounds a week.

Among other things, that's an extra half pound of fat weekly - mostly from oils and shortening. That doesn't count the fat in the extra quarter pound of meat Americans now eat every seven days. Those fats were somewhat offset by a steep drop in dairy consumption, the only major food group to have a decline, primarily in milk drinking. (But we do love our cheese. More and more of it.)

This portrait of the raw ingredients of the American diet is based on what the Agriculture Department calls "food availability" - the amount of food produced for the average American consumer. The data are adjusted for food losses (waste on farms; in processing and transportation; and in stores, restaurants and homes) to provide a close approximation of what individuals eat. (The most recent year for which data are available is 2006.) - New York Times

Yo, this isn't obvious or anything.

Pam Anderson Hates KFC

Here's why:

• The roughly 1 billion chickens killed each year for KFC's buckets are crammed by the tens of thousands into excrement-filled sheds that stink of ammonia fumes.
• The birds’ legs and wings often break because they’re bred to be too top-heavy and because workers carelessly shove them into transport crates and shackles.
• Chickens’ throats are slit and the animals are dropped into tanks of scalding-hot water to remove their feathers, often while they are still conscious and able to feel pain.
• KFC lets frustrated factory-farm and slaughterhouse workers handle live birds, so many of the animals end up being sadistically abused. At a KFC “Supplier of the Year” slaughterhouse in West Virginia, workers were documented tearing the heads off live birds, spitting tobacco into their eyes, spray-painting their faces, and violently stomping on them. This was discovered more than two years after KFC promised PETA that it was taking animal welfare seriously.
• KFC hides behind its Animal Welfare Advisory Council, even though five members of the council have resigned in frustration. One of them, Adele Douglass, told the Chicago Tribune that KFC “never had any meetings. They never asked any advice, and then they touted to the press that they had this animal-welfare advisory committee. I felt like I was being used.” - Courtesy of Kentucky Fried Cruelty

Fall Out Boy is a part of the celebrity haters of K.F.C.. What do I say to that? Eat more KFC!