A Tribute to George Carlin

Here in this post, I will write some excerpts from the books "Brain Droppings" and "Napalm and Silly Putty", both by George Carlin, in memory of his life as a comedian.

We're all fucked, it helps to remember that.

If you mail a letter to the post office, who delivers it?

White people fucked up The Blues.

If you love someone, set them free; if they come home, set them on fire.

Most people are not particularly good at anything.

Working-class people "look for work." Middle-class people "try to get a job." Upper-class people "seek employment".

"When the going gets tough, the tough get fucked."

What is the plural of "a hell of a guy"? "Hells of guys"?

I go to bed early. My favorite dream comes on at nine.

Things you never hear: "Please stop sucking my dick or I'll call the police."

"No comment" is a comment.

THIS IS JUST SOME PRINTING

Which is taller, a short-order cook or a small-engine mechanic?

If Helen Keller had psychic ability, would you say she had a fourth sense?

BLOOD IS THICKER THAN URINE

I wanted to get a job as a gynecologist, but I couldn't find an opening.

Sometimes I look out the airplane window at a large city at night and wonder how many people are fucking.

SIMON SAYS, GO FUCK YOURSELF

A meltdown sounds like fun. Like some kind of cheese sandwich.

Why does Filipino start with an F and Philippines start with a Ph?

What exactly is "diddley squat"?

You know what's fun? Go to a German restaurant and insist on using chopsticks.

There is now a Starbucks in my pants.

An art thief is a man who takes pictures.

Here's a word you don't see anymore: foodstuffs. I wish it would make a comeback.

Why do they bother saying "raw sewage"? Do some people actually cook that stuff?

FECES TAKES PLACE

FUCK RATIONAL THOUGHT

What exactly is a wingding?

IT'S TIME TO START SLAPPING PEOPLE

After you die, your "stuff" becomes your "personal effects".

I think I am, therefore, I am. I think.

You know a word you don't hear enough anymore? Hosiery.

HOORAY FOR MOST THINGS!

The future will soon be a thing of the past.
__________________________

Rest in peace George, you will be missed. The world just got a whole lot less funny.

Joe Bless.