Monday, August 25, 2008

CD Review: A Little Bit Longer



The Jonas Brothers

1) "BB Good" - Fuck, where do I begin? This shit sounds like it was directly manufactured by the likes of Disney. I'm not going to "BB Good" just 'cause. At the best, I'll say that this song's like really really bad Click Five. There is a solid guitar solo near the end. Grade: 4.o out of 10

2) "Burnin' Up" - Come on girl! To do what? Hold your hand? I had several urges to throw my speakers into my fireplace, but I didn't. I can picture myriad girls going crazy over this song because it has infinite pop "qualities," but in the alternative realm of things that is less than special. Grade: 2.5 out of 10

3) "Shelf" - A solid guitar, but a suicidal voice (for the listener) is ever so present. I guess when the Jonas boys head towards the "Power Pop" path they are more bearable. Grade: 5.0 out of 10

4) "One Man Show" - A faux Pop-Punk track filled with a more passionate Joe Jonas. Of course, when he plays from his fucking heart (a travesty, almost) everything just gets worse. Grade: 3.0 out of 10

5) "Love Bug" - Taking a rest from the electric, the Brothers try the acoustic route. What this amounts to is something that could have been penned by Daniel Johnston and sung by Connor Oberst. Nick Jonas does a decent job in one of the better tracks the album offers. The electric mix-up at the end is stupid. Grade: 6.0 out of 10

6) "Tonight" - A half ass electronic/post-punk attempt proves once again that a decent background beat can always be spoiled by shitty vocals. Give Bloc Party the beat and this would be great. Grade: 5.5 out of 10

7) "Can't Have You" - Remember when you got bullied on the playground? The Jonas Brothers cried harder than you did. Recalling those grand days (sorry, sorry), they decide to write this. This is great for Disney and Kiss 108, but keep in mind that those stations have a ridiculously awful track record. Grade: 3.5 out of 10

8) "Video Girl" - Damn, why couldn't they just become victims of Video Girl syndrome? God bless them for knowing how to play the guitar well, but I still can't give them anymore than that. Sorry, ladies. Grade: 3.0 out of 10

9) "Pushing Me Away" - Ew. After listening to eight tracks in a row, I've started to realize that they are all sound a like. Not kidding. The formula is this: slow.slow.fast.fast.fast.slow.fast.fast.slow.slow.fast.fast.fast. Grade: 3.0 out of 10

10) "Sorry" - For breaking all the promises? You mean... for making this song? When they don't sing, it's decent. I've said that before, haven't I? Same deal again. And from my old days as a dabbler in the art of listening to the Backstreet Boys, this sort of sounds like them. Not good. Grade: 3.5 out of 10

11) "Got Me Goin' Crazy" - Nice, garage rock! Oh..oh..nevermind. I liken this song to a combination of The Fratellis and The Hives. More Fratellis since The Hives are a great band. The vocals screw it up again. Grade: 5.5 out of 10

12) "A Little Bit Longer" - It's over! It's over! It's over! Thank God! Thanks guys for calling it quits after 12. I really couldn't bear too much more. Grade: 4.0 out of 10

Total Grade: 4.0

4 comments:

  1. Wow, I thought this would be much harsher. I haven't heard much of them, but it seems like you gave them some decent ratings... at least better than I'd expect.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Like you, I respect that they play their own instruments. Don't get me wrong all of these songs were below average (the 6.0 Love Bug rating was a stretch)

    ReplyDelete
  3. If I said I didn't, please don't tell the Feds.

    ReplyDelete

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